White Light Blinds me Vaguely

White light blinds me - vaguely

moving forth - back & forth

burning blurry images on my brain

leaving me in momentary calmness

numb to any pain

I open my eyes so wide

that I forget who I am

I begin to disappear

enveloped in an impenetrable fog

which makes true forms clear

I like this feeling

a beginning

a fluctuating state

containing conflicting passions

      love & hate

--- this is why I fall

into love & hate

mired in a quicksand

of passions so great

that I become a passenger

in my own life

this sensation of being someone else

a person who could be the type to fuse

and not to stand alone

Perhaps one day

I'll wake up to be an individual

next to someone else

instead of waking in the night

- to silence

or some sleeping face

which leaves me an intruder

in a stage play

where everyone knows my name

but I don't recognize myself

For now I'll roll over and

turn on my stereo

to sleep dreamlessly

and I know I will again have

a feeling of beginning & forgetting

A blurry light which

CALLS ME HOME

ily, 2001