Pure of Heart

Twirling in my mind I hear your song
and wish it were my own
It is so beautiful, untainted and so pure
So strong, invincible and oh so secure
My own stumbling, mumbling, rambling whispers
are as unlike it as two mirror-imaged sisters
I know I crave your power
although I have plenty of my own
or maybe it's your purity
that I want on loan
There's something missing I can't gain
walk through myself and back again
Inside my heart desire has lain
for many years amidst the pain
and it's the pain I can't remove
despite these many efforts
Even with the balm of love
my purity's completely severed
from the rest of who I am
and packed away like trash
so inaccessible, so far in my past
and each time I find its miracle
I know it's borrowed bliss
My purity will never last
I'll never quite grab hold of it
I don't know how to live without my pain
and if my purity came back
I'd only search for pain again
it's useless to try to take my pain away
as much as I don't want it, I need for it to stay
It's the only thing that makes me strong
tells me who I am and where I belong
and even if I do not like the things it has to say
Nonetheless its messages are truthful anyway
That I am corrupted, tainted
and blemished is for sure
but there's a disparity
because in my heart I'm pure
No matter what they take, you see
They cannot take my heart from me
A hidden treasure, hard to find
far beyond my soul or mind
My body may not be my own
whether I'm possessed or all alone
Take what you can from it
it's only an empty shell
it has been broken for so long
that any use for it is just as well
Try to break me
you might succeed
Nothing else has any worth
No, not death, or even birth
If you cannot hold my heart
you possess no true art

ily, 2000