Runaway - at a Standstill

There is so much to say

and not be said

Here I am - trapped

between a blood-curdling scream

and the silence of nothingness

All my thoughts and emotions

are tangled in a web

of fear and self-recrimination

and attempts at acceptance

come in large waves

only to be blown back

by winds

whispering my secret fears

telling me I am not god-like

and may never be able to 

forgive myself for this

But I know I have no choice

Fate is not blind

like Justice

For she sees into me, as always

And says - "This one has endured pain

and can endure more"

The reasons are not clear to me

But hard decisions are not new

Fear and pain and loneliness

are ancient

tuggers at my heartstrings

But I know that I can handle

ANYTHING

ily, 2002