Safety-Net

Safety-Net

I listen hard to every word

To make it sensical

When it is not

All the things they say

Are lies

They waylay me and trap my mind

Stuck in this cotton-baton

Surrounded by what-ifs

Second-guessing, paranoia

Which leave me breathless

And afraid

A sense of panic that overwhelms

Keeping my body rigid

Turning my face into a wooden mask

When smiling would be too hard

And looking you in the eye

Complicated

For you fear the loss of control

When you cannot cojole me

And make me see things your way

For times when my own mind

Is stronger than my will to resist

Falling into the crevasses of crevices

That abyss between sanity

And complete control

Where there is no safety net

And you would be my

Safe place to fall

And be the cord that prevents me

From falling down too far

For anyone to reach

And I love you for

All of your concern

But you still don’t know all of me

You know the me that is

A part of you

Not the me I was before you

The strong-willed ambitious girl

Who took on the world

Unafraid of stereotypes and labels

The girl you met

And fell in love with

Oh so long ago.

                              Ily, 2011