That Girl

It's been said and I feel bad
but not enough, I guess
Sorry, to cause duress
and maybe I'm that girl
always apologizing for what I don't feel
never thought it would be me
and these proclamations surprise me so
what they think they've found, I do not know
All I can say is
maybe they don't see
the forest for the trees
For I am many things
adding up to imperfection
somehow passing your inspection
think you've caught an infection
from my passing inflection
sorry
And I grow to hate the question
when I can't provide an answer
just gnarls of pain and indigestion
for this unwitting romancer
of your heart
Please don't fall apart
or grow demanding
Never wanted this power I'm commanding
and you may become resentful
yeah I've been here before
and I'll end up hiding in dark recesses
not answering the door
or I'll lie and change the locks
grow fearful of your knock
Or the look of pain on your face
and if it were a race
I'd be a perpetual loser
neither a beggar nor a chooser
"and how does that make you feel?"
the shrunken question, always the same
"empty, hollow and unreal
angry, sad and unworthy of name."
Wondering if that's what you
wanted from me
Knowing that's not what
love's supposed to be.

ily, 2004