Upon Receiving Your Email

I was sorry that I hurt you
but never heard you apologize
for walking on my heart
and bringing tears to my eyes
You shattered the glass that protected my soul
Ground it into my heart and made me whole
You've made me vulnerable and weak
You have caused my heart to bleed
And I could try and fix it all
But there's one thing I can't repair
The glass that protected my heart
For it's no longer there
It took years of abuse and pain
Neglect and torture and fear
to turn a little girl to glass
to trap my happiness in here
And I don't have another 20 years
to weave that spell again
For it took you to break it
To bring me alive inside my heart
And I don't have the power to
Stop you from ripping it apart
And you know I never wanted this role
And I didn't ever want to be this weak
to realize that I can't live without you
to feel too scared to speak
And you know I'd crawl and beg and lie
to be beside you now
Where you would only see my shell
And think I am happy
Here being your everything
Trying to be your anything
your friend, your lover
the girl who doesn't attach strings
while I silently weave my spell
and try to lift you with my wings
For you are grounded
and will never get off the ground
without using your feet
And you never knew
you had the wings to fly
But I knew you did
and I tried
But you were content
only to hide.

ily, 2003