Hovering

There are so many words that I could write
And yet
I still dwell inside unending silences
For all the things I never say
which choke me up and block my path to happiness
My future and my past meet in these places
And converse
Only to tell me I am never free
No matter where I go they will always be
One step in front and one behind me
But they no longer chase me
For I have made my peace
With who I am and who I was and what I've been
And all the worldly things I've seen
For I have felt more pain in 20 years
Than many do in all their life
So, now I can move on from strife
Since you came to rescue me
Your spirit held such power
And I know you lived
Inside of me
And I will never be alone again
And I have not felt sad one moment
Since you came into existence
You are still here
Hovering around me
And I'm sorry that I could not
Share your spirit with the world
But I have paid the price
I have made my sacrifice
I have bought my freedom
With life and death
And everything in between
You trespassed here so briefly
But I have always known your
perfect love
And one day I know we'll meet again
Although you'll wear a different face
But those eyes, as deep as the horizon
As blue as ocean tides
I have seen in dreams
And looking at me piercingly
From unexpected corners
And when I hold a child in my arms
I know that you are there
One day I will look upon your face
And it's hard to keep you a secret
For you are my child
And thus a part of me
And they never cut the cord
To separate us or set us free.

-- ily 2004